Reality TV vs. Reality

After 14 straight hours of being “on” today my inner housewife blog was almost titled: To be honest, I’m too tired to blog. Seriously, today was one of those days where even a 1 minute bathroom break felt like a vacation. This is reality.

My initial reluctance to come to the keyboard led me to think that this was a good opportunity to explore the idea of Reality TV versus, you know, Reality.

So, we all already “get it” that reality TV is not real – that it’s editing, that characters are provoked or persuaded to move things in a climactic direction to create a story, an arc, and a resolution – and most especially, that the job of reality TV is to create the drama, so that we are entertained, so that we keep coming back for more, so that advertisers pay more to the network, and etc.

But…I like watching Reality TV sometimes, especially when I feel like I want to escape my own reality a little.

[SIDENOTE: There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who feel better about their lives when they watch “crazy” people on Reality TV and those who feel worse.]

But herein lies the problem: Reality TV is screwing with my inner housewife’s reality. I have my limits (usually if the topic is too close to home i.e. “The Jersey Shore”) but overall, I can get deep into such lively and dynamic drama’s including “Wife Swap” and “The Real Housewives of…”. I sort of hate ‘em but I love ‘em too. I am not a stupid person - I know how media influences me. How it influences and women and men everywhere and not necessarily for the good. I have been fully made aware of how body image, gender roles, and self-esteem can be warped for a lifetime in subtle and overt ways from the evils of media. Maybe because I know it, I feel like I can fend it off, that I can shrug it off. And usually, I can. In areas of my life where I’ve become aware of it, I can manage and deconstruct unhealthy media messages – I can take the entertainment but leave behind the sense of inadequacy some entertainment serves up as a side dish.

Yet in the case of my newly hatched inner housewife, well, this new inner housewife is vulnerable! This inner housewife doesn’t yet have strong inner beliefs and messages that can be pulled out of a back-pocket in times of self-doubt! Instead, this inner housewife is very impressionable and thinks something like this:

Housewives of Reality TV	Real Housewife	Inner Housewife Thought
Confrontational with friends and business associate	vents to confidants, but diplomatic and strategic in dealing with conflict	I need a vacation!
Has time for shower and make-up	Has time to splash water on face, put hair in ponytail, clean underwear	get it together!
No gray hairs	a few new gray ones each day (with names)	ooh, I think I’ll have time for a haircut in a hmmm, maybe a few months?
Wears size 2	Wears size 10 or 12	these pants make my butt look big and there’s spit-up on my shirt – but HEY I am fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes!

How can this housewife find her bearings when many of the every present examples on on TV are so unrealistic? What if my experience doesn’t match up to theirs? What happens if I can’t have a clean house and car, popular and adorable children, be able to cook AND bake, and look hot while doing it all. What happens if I don’t measure up?

I know, I could argue that it seemed like a great idea to go from old TV, you know - the type with writers and actors prescribing our roles and identities through likeable and consumable characters - to reality TV, where we could relate to real people. But, COME ON! I surmise that the characters of housewife-related reality TV don’t look nearly as good as TV would have us believe nor do they behave quite as bad as it may seem. I believe in basic human goodness and most peoples’ ability to be capable and decent. So, that’s my reality – for better or for worse…

An update:

The cookie-cake – some of you asked, “nu…how was it?” Well, it was kind of dry but with a glass of cold milk, I have to say, not that bad. I have a 1:1 cookie making tutoring session with one of my fairy-housewives’ (J.P. that’s you, girl) in the near future!

Thanks for all of the fantastic laundry advice – In a future blog I will compile all of the great ideas and share. For now, can anyone come over tomorrow and help me fold?

- Stef